I had two things on my mind that I can't get off my chest, one that just happened, and one that's been bugging me ever since my first adoption.
The first one just happened last Friday at work. A female co-worker of mine that I have not much in common with, but we tolerate each other looked at my new family pictures I had just proudly displayed in a frame. She keeps saying, wow that's a lot of people to feed and on and on and I proudly told her we are doing fine. Than she finally said, "well the state is helping you with the food, right"? She was talking about the foster care system. Huh, say what, the state, I thought I just adopted a child from ET I said to myself. Than I got so frustrated I wanted to make her mouth drop so I told her how much we paid for our adoptions and she flat out called me a liar. She thought we get our children for free. Now this just came from a very educated woman.
The second one is not so much killing me but it hurts more than anything. I really don't have many friends but enough I think (which includes work people) that could have thrown me a shower. In fact we JUST had a baby shower at the office a week ago for my boss who is due soon. Again I am not trying to sound greedy or worldly to want things at all. Its not even about that. It just hurts so much because when people have a baby, everyone is up and running mailing out presents, congratulation cards and throwing showers. As for me, nothing, not even a congratulation card and that includes family. Just like nothing. I just don't get it that my beautiful children that I have adopted don't get recognized like a newborn. What's the difference..? These children belong to my family just like my bio kids. Ugh the ignorance of this world. Thank God for my adoption friends who I know understand me.
9 comments:
Oh Andrea - totally get it. If I lived closer I'd have thrown you a shower!! I tell my self that it is okay that no one gives us parties for these older kids because the angels in heaven surely are rejoicing on our behalf....
I know what you mean about a shower. I didn't get one either. No great rejoicing at the office over referrals or court passing....they don't get it. You should get several showers for adopting older children and not the sweet little baby. People just don't get it.
I am so sorry sweet friend. :0( You and your beautiful children deserve the BEST. I do have a package sitting here to mail out to you if I could ever get myself organized enough to run to the post office!!! Love you and miss you!
I am so sorry sweet friend. :0( You and your beautiful children deserve the BEST. I do have a package sitting here to mail out to you if I could ever get myself organized enough to run to the post office!!! Love you and miss you!
Bonnie, I don't know you but Amen Sista!!!! The angels and the Lord are rejoicing over all of you. It's a bigger party up there than any of us could ever throw. The people of the world just don't understand and it's through that same ignorance that they will be missing out on the biggest blessings this world has to offer. You know I love you. Throwing you a party in my head right now :)
Oh, that shower thing is hard. I had about 9 or 10 people come to my shower (held by my mom) and these are my first kids. I needed everything!! I remember being at work and they were throwing yet another baby shower and that was hard, particularly because I cannot have kids, the old fashioned way. People are just insensitive.
There really are a lot of ignorant people. I'm sorry you're running into more of them. Absolutely people should rejoice with you for your kids. We definitely do. :(
I totally had the same experience....it does hurt...it's like "hey? doesn't anyone want to celebrate MY kids??" It's sad that people just don't see adoption of older kids as a reason to throw a party, and also meet some needs....
But as you said....you have MANY in the adoption community that value you and your family!! :)
We are rejoicing with you. I'm so sorry your co-workers are so out of it. Just remember that God sees it all, He knows that this is work you do for Him. Those children are worth every snide comment. I'll get to give you a real hug soon!
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