Blessed by Joy again

Lately lots of people have traveled to pick up their children so I have been pretty blessed to have gotten pics.

Last week, my friend Joy made a trip to Kidane (while picking up her sons and not with my agency) just to see my children. When she asked me in the very beginning if I would mind her visiting my kids I was thrilled beyond imagination that she would do that for me.

Well she saw them and she was also able to bless Kidane with wonderful donations and hopefully we get to talk on the phone soon about our kids but in the mean time, she wrote this:

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I will just tell you now that I will be totally truthful to you about your kids and the truth is that they are true gems. I loved them so much and it was so sweet how Biruk watched out for Hiwot. He is more bold and louder than she is. She is so quiet and will love to be cuddled. She just would back up and sit on my knee when I was bending down to visit with the kids or open the stickers. She pet Janae’s hair and hardly made a peep, but has such a sweet demeanor and smile. Biruk is more spunky, but didn’t seem naughty at all.
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There was other stuff I am not going to share just for the sake of orphanage and children but this was truly a blessing for me that my friend went to see them and love on them for me.

Can it get any worse?

So today my wonderful friend Crystal shared some pics when she was there just a few days ago and the kids look soooo sad. Like they want to say "when is it my turn". Honestly they look so sad. Especially my boy. I have to share this picture if he ever makes it... Well this is Amira by herself.

2 days before Thanksgiving 2 years ago (2006)

2 days before Thanksgiving 2 years ago, my Juan Antonio was one day away from being legally abandoned and free for me to adopt him. Unfortunately his mom came back to claim him just one day before his hearing. Mind you she hadn't seen him in nearly 4 years at the orphanage. Not once did she come to visit him. Obviously God wanted my boy with her not not my family. Today it stings badly to think about that and look at my continued failure at adoption. Hard to see all of my buddies that started out with me to ALL have their children home except for me. It's hard to believe today that my turn will come one day. I am sick and tired of waiting. Nothing for Thanksgiving, nothing for Christmas. I know that doesn't sound very graceful but that is just the truth and tonight I am bluntly honest of how I am feeling and after all I am very, very human just like we all are. I am at a point now where I am just holding my breath and see whatever happens if it happens or see what came down this time that it didn't happen. What was suppose to be an easy fix signature had to sit there for a month with no action. Going on 2 months wasted since the first court hearing on Oct 14. Granted Amira is mine but I can't pick her up anyway because I was told my kids have to be picked up together for reasons I am not in the mood for to get into anymore. I am just tired. I haven't even received Amira's birth certificate in the mail but I probably won't get that either because they are "processed together" even though they are not sibs.

I love you Juan Antonio, you are forever and ever and ever in my heart and one day I will see you in heaven.

Another picture of Amira (just came in)

Wow, what a smile. I think this is the first picture ever where she has such a big smile. I am so so blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Hopefully one day I can add B, but for now I had to crop my precious son out. My B looks so macho in this picture like with his chest out saying "yeah I am her big brother" I think the picture is to die for once I can add him in. Enjoy.

Emails from very special friends

Wow, so happy to have gotten these emails but how much longer must my heart bleed. All I can dream about is holding them forever and ever and ever and ever. Just embracing their hugs for the very first time, sitting on my knees and holding them until it turns dark outside. But in the mean time I am so thankful to these dear friends like Crystal and Marissa's husband who took the time to love on my kids. BTW, my husband loves Crystal's girls that she is picking up at this moment.

************** Thanks Marissa (John met my kids just Sunday)
My husband visited KM while we were sleeping last night and sent home these pictures. He said that Biruk and Hiwot are just the most beautiful and sweet little children. He just fell in love with them! He's got more photos and I'll get them to you when he gets home. I just thought I'd send these along because I know I loved it when I'd get pictures that were just a few hours old. :)
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************* Thanks Crystal (she met my kids Tuesday, just hours ago)
I got to meet your kids yesterday!! They are so sweet. The sister is much more kind then I was told!! Your little one loved my husband. They love his facial hair! They climb on him the whole time. I want to stick them in my suit case and take them home. They are so beautiful. B even spoke a little English. Love ya- Crystal
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World Aids Day

Front of shirt (They sell them at the Gap in the store and on line)

back of shirt

World Aids day is December 1. It's pretty amazing how all these people come together all over the world for Aids. Click here to get to the site. This December marks 20 years.

Satan's Deadly Devices

Sorry, the pictures meant to be on the bottom. This is what I found when I experienced the peace of nature. This morning was a little foggy but yesterday was a beautiful day. Please scroll down the pics and read below.

As I decided to fast mainly for my friend on Thursday from Friday to Sunday, little did I know that I desperately needed to do it for myself also. My hubby helped by keeping the kids so I could be secluded and outside at nature where I needed to be.

Instead of acting meek when I got the news Friday morning about my son, I felt sorry for myself and became deflated in an instant. It hurt so badly I wanted to puke. It felt like my breath was sucked out of me. It wasn't just an easy fix but it was shocking more than anything.

Which brings me to my Title above. Little did I know how Satan can still get to me when it comes to "Adoption". I have learned since I have been a Christ Follower to fight that nasty little serpent pretty good and not let him enter my soul easily but on Friday satan put me in an emotional tailspin like I haven't experienced since I lost my son in Guatemala. He got a foothold of me. Once again I found myself Disappointed, Discouraged, Dejected and finally in Dispair. This is called the warfare of the evil one. Usually I fight with one of the four "D"'s but rarely all 4 together.

Nobody is in control. Not the agency, not the orphanage, nobody. The only one here in control is my GOD and obviously for reasons to glorify him, not me or anyone else in their pity, he will hand over Amira and "B" to me when it is His timing alone. I just have to get that in my fat head.

Granted, that doesn't mean that I am going to let the agency step all over me and just take advantage of me. In many ways this is still inexcuseable and doesn't make much sense. I am eventually going to get Amira if they wouldn't be able to find his dad and I am sure the agency will agree with me but I now know that I have to wait a little longer until God leads the way to let something glorious happen.

God left me with these verses to hold on to this weekend:

Is 26: 3-4 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal

Rom 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, form and steadfast.

Sad News for Today

Have a seat and understand this craziness of my adoption THIS TIME AROUND.

I found out today that apparently my son has 2 living parents. I was told in the beginning that his parents are deceased. So when I found out there was not just one but two parents, I was pretty shocked. Not that he had parents but that I didn't know.

Someone at the orphanage is working on finding the dad so he can come to court and do his thing. I just hope they find him quickly. Apparently his mom already appeared at the first hearing so she doesn’t have to come back again. His mom re-married and that is probably why they need the dad's signature.

I just have no clue why this weird stuff is happening. All along as I thought before Hiwot wouldn’t make it it rather became an unfolding drama story with Biruk.

I desperately need your prayers that they may find his dad!!! Nothing else to report, just really badly in shock over 2 parents being alive suddenly and me thinking a signature was missing and being assured it was an easy fix.

My friend Lisa had a very similar problem with a parent being alive suddenly.
Would you please also pray for her? She had her third hearing but now her file is missing by MOWA so she too needs a miracle.

Thanks for checking my blog but especially to those special people that leave comments.

No Court News

I have heard nothing yet. I have sat obsessively in front of the computer for almost 2 hours with 2 pots of coffee. I have to go to work now. I am hoping to hear something today but I cannot update this blog until I come home from work tonight.

Thanks for all your prayers.

Court today

For those of you who are anxiously waiting with me, Biruk's case was not heard today. Judge ran out of time. It will be heard tomorrow.

Just wanted to let you know.

Fresh off the Printer - Amira Hiwot Hill

Happy 20th Birthday Danica

My precious baby girl turned 20 today. Where did the time go?

Danica is my precious baby girl that I love so deeply I couldn’t imagine life without. She inherited both of Kevin and my personalities which makes her very unique. She is a total people’s person and gets along with everyone, doesn’t give a care what people think about her (Kevin) and she also is very headstrong and feisty (me).

She just has brought so much joy to Kevin’s and my life. When she was younger up till about 15 she was a true momma’s girl and after she got her license she has this amazing bond with her daddy pretty much telling him everything. I think that she doesn’t tell me that much anymore because I have my Christian values especially about marriage and purity. I think they also get along so well because they have such a passion for fast exotic cars and motorcycles! Yeap that would be my daughter.

She doesn’t have a care in the world what people think about her and bless her for that. How many women can say that about themselves? She doesn’t wear make up and wears sweats to her classes at college. That is why I LOVE THE FIRST PICTURE BELOW. That is my true Danica the way she looks always. Just herself.

She has NEVER (I am not joking) giving me any trouble where I would lose sleep over. I could go on and on but this young lady is really, really special to me. I am so very proud of her.

If you click on my labels to the right by Danica you can see more pics of her.

The pics below were just taken in Ocotber. I love the very first one because its the real Danica. No make up, nothing. Her friend at college took the first set of pics and I think she did a great job. For some reason they went to a grave yard. I don't know why. So that is why I didn't publish the other ones.

Danica's Pics

Danica's 4th Birthday

Graduation 2007

Graduation 2007

PRO LIFE

Sometimes (I really should more often) visit Courtney's blog at Storing up Treasures in Heaven here (please click on that read and watch the video) and right there with my dear friend Carolyn, she has got to be one of the boldest ladies out there. I just love, love, love both of these women. So many times, Courtney reads my mind (I am sure many other women agree) and speaks boldly about the TRUTH. Thank God I have already voted but I wished I had this post a little earlier just to prove where I am coming from. I am not too good at researching or get into political debates about all of this.

I will not be deceived by this future president. I don't care what other people think but I am a Christian and I am backing up the bible 100% when it comes to abortion, gay issues and other issues. Just not acceptable. Yes, we are "not" supposed to stand in front of abortion clinics and throw up signs that say "I hate you, or you murderer", or stand in front of churches when gay people get married; we are commanded to love ALL PEOPLE. I WILL JUST NOT SUPPORT ANY OF THIS. Just like it says in the bible things must be fulfilled for Jesus' return and I am sure that this presidential craziness is one of the things that needs to be fulfilled.

Wow and I just found this on Amy's blog. I am glad Amy's blog is not private at the moment so people have a chance to read this incredible woman's blog. She comes up with even different issues of "WHAT ARE WE COMPLAINING ABOUT". I love when people are just backing things up so greatly which I don't have the tools to do at the moment.

AMEN TO PRO LIFE FROM THE MOMENT THE BABY IS CONCEIVED. Oh one more thing Obama had the nerves to say in this video is that "I have 2 daughters and if they make a mistake I don't want them to be punished". Wow, like it is a punishment to have a baby. My view on this is that if you wanna be out there having sex at the tender age of 14, you better pay the price!