Why Adoption? Because its better than Childbirth:)

Unice Imani (Liberia)

Juan Antonio (Guatemala)

Benson (Zambia)

Our adoption journey started just about 4 years ago. Adoption has changed me from a worldly, selfish, nagging, over the head in debt person to a nothing but humble humane being that wants to bring home more and more kids or do more for these precious children every day and encourage the world to adopt. When people say: The kids are blessed! No: We are blessed!

Today I am glad my journey has passed so many children but they all left something in my heart and also finally brought me to Amira and Biruk.

I started out in 2006 when I went on my mission trip to Guatemala. I met an amazing boy named Juan Antonio who was 8 years old. This adoption never worked out because when I started the process for 3 month his mom came back after having him left for over 3 years at the orphanage and never visited.

In 2007 we were lead to domestic adoption through the foster system but soon were shut down because of Anastasia's Autism and her past. So can't say I never tried domestic (their loss)

That same year I went to Zambia. There I met Benson, a 10 year old boy who lived with me for 3 week at a hotel I was with 3 other families and than UNICEF and the Zambian government decided that adoption is not legal in Zambia and came and ripped all the children from us saying we were trafficking and adoption was never allowed. I think this one was the most painful thing in my adoption journey. I returned home empty handed. Today I still miss Benson deeply and if I have to be honest, he will probably be the one I see in our home one day, even if he is 18.

Than finally 2008 was pretty crazy:

In January I signed up with a Liberia adoption agency and shortly after I received my referral for a 5 year old girl. But that happiness quickly vanished when I found out adoptions were on hold and might not ever happen again in a long time. Haha they still on hold today.

Then I received a infant referral from my homestudy guy. The girl (14 y/o) was due in a month. She was expecting a baby boy. After meeting her and lots of prayer and Kevin feeling just not right about it we declined just weeks before the baby was born because we felt she would not give us her baby and keep it.

Finally in May of 2008 we signed up for Amira and Biruk. By that time, everyone had told me I lost my mind and need to go in the crazy house. My dear husband couldn't take anymore and said "baby how much more money are we giving away, I can't take it anymore"!? I begged him and begged him and said "Honey, I promise this is the last time". I didn't feel that God told me to stop yet. Many people asked me if I was so desperate to have a child that I needed to adopt HIV children. Let me tell you, God orchestrated it so ridiculously clearly it wasn't even funny. Every little detail that this was the way we needed to go. Now we are blessed to have 2 more positive kids coming home very soon.

If I had to do it all over again I would. Losing massive amounts of money and many many many sleepless nights but it was all worth it. I'd rather have a tiny house, a little food to eat and lots of adopted children than all the riches in the world, because today adoption has changed me to the person God wanted me to be. I am finally home:)

2 days before Thanksgiving 2 years ago (2006)

2 days before Thanksgiving 2 years ago, my Juan Antonio was one day away from being legally abandoned and free for me to adopt him. Unfortunately his mom came back to claim him just one day before his hearing. Mind you she hadn't seen him in nearly 4 years at the orphanage. Not once did she come to visit him. Obviously God wanted my boy with her not not my family. Today it stings badly to think about that and look at my continued failure at adoption. Hard to see all of my buddies that started out with me to ALL have their children home except for me. It's hard to believe today that my turn will come one day. I am sick and tired of waiting. Nothing for Thanksgiving, nothing for Christmas. I know that doesn't sound very graceful but that is just the truth and tonight I am bluntly honest of how I am feeling and after all I am very, very human just like we all are. I am at a point now where I am just holding my breath and see whatever happens if it happens or see what came down this time that it didn't happen. What was suppose to be an easy fix signature had to sit there for a month with no action. Going on 2 months wasted since the first court hearing on Oct 14. Granted Amira is mine but I can't pick her up anyway because I was told my kids have to be picked up together for reasons I am not in the mood for to get into anymore. I am just tired. I haven't even received Amira's birth certificate in the mail but I probably won't get that either because they are "processed together" even though they are not sibs.

I love you Juan Antonio, you are forever and ever and ever in my heart and one day I will see you in heaven.

Sad News for Today

Have a seat and understand this craziness of my adoption THIS TIME AROUND.

I found out today that apparently my son has 2 living parents. I was told in the beginning that his parents are deceased. So when I found out there was not just one but two parents, I was pretty shocked. Not that he had parents but that I didn't know.

Someone at the orphanage is working on finding the dad so he can come to court and do his thing. I just hope they find him quickly. Apparently his mom already appeared at the first hearing so she doesn’t have to come back again. His mom re-married and that is probably why they need the dad's signature.

I just have no clue why this weird stuff is happening. All along as I thought before Hiwot wouldn’t make it it rather became an unfolding drama story with Biruk.

I desperately need your prayers that they may find his dad!!! Nothing else to report, just really badly in shock over 2 parents being alive suddenly and me thinking a signature was missing and being assured it was an easy fix.

My friend Lisa had a very similar problem with a parent being alive suddenly.
Would you please also pray for her? She had her third hearing but now her file is missing by MOWA so she too needs a miracle.

Thanks for checking my blog but especially to those special people that leave comments.

My Zambia Pals

Tonight my utmost love and happiness goes out to Joy for passing her court date the first time on two unrelated children. Joy who stood by me endlessly from going to Zambia to Liberia to Ethiopia has been nothing but the sweetest treasure God could have ever put in my life. We stood by each other like soldiers from last July when we set up for a wild goose chase to adopt our children from Zambia. Yes Joy, you are quiet the soldier, bringing home 2 little ones and giving birth in January to your little precious boy.... You are a treasure in my life.

And Crystal there is you my friend. here You held out the longest hanging on to Zambia and look at you now... You get to travel to ET very soon getting your two special girls. Your unsurpassed faithfulness that God will provide has blown me out of the water many times.

And last but not least Chris who I found back again through Joy's blog. I think Chris was "the ringleader" and not wasting her time on holding on to the Zambia program knowing they would play a bunch of games with us. So she jumped into the Ethiopia program giving us all hope to finally bring a child home. Chris your ever beautiful chunky little Ava that I want to bite every time I look at her picture, you have no idea how much joy your baby pictures have brought to me these last 2 months especially these last 3 weeks. Words cannot describe. You too have been a great support.

So Zambia pals, hopefully by Christmas, just hopefully, we can ALL celebrate of having our Ethipian babies home once and for all. You guys have no idea how much each of you mean to me.

Adoption Journey Continued - Zambia

This is the day I asked B if he wanted to come live with us.

This is the day B came to stay with me at the hotel

At B's orphanage

As people are reading my blog and really don't know my adoption story, I wanted to share today my 2nd attempt.

On Thursday, July 24, when I announced the court submissions for my kids came a bittersweet memory of last year. On July 24, 2007, I met B. in Zambia. After my failed adoption in Guatemala, I felt that it was pretty much a year since Juan A. and now had the urge coming on that we needed to try again. I embarked on this last minute journey with an agency promising us to get a child if we had our homestudy ready. Of course I did.

When we got to Zambia, some of us got our children within a week of being there. But towards the end we found out from the high minister herself that adoptions aren't really open to foreigners which means we were mislead by the agency. My agency then probably did not do enough research to know that we weren't doing the right thing and just went on using the families that went before us as an example. To those who read this blog and know of my journey, this is not to intent to bash the agency I went with so please don’t leave anything negative about them. I will delete it immediately. It is purely to talk about my journey.

Today, almost returning a year since then, the Zambians have opened up adoptions to foreigners but are making it nearly impossible to adopt because they now requiring that you foster the child for 12 months in Zambia. Do you get what they are trying to do? They want to look good and not get too much bad press. And after the 12 months, you are still not guaranteed to bring your kids home.

Almost 2 months ago, my B. has ran away from the orphanage where he was at. The orphanage director where he was at has stated that he was seen in a village where his relatives live. To me that is hard to believe because my boy has been severely beaten by them (all of them) and for him to run to them, that would be hard to believe. B. is really hard to get over because my husband and I have build a relationship over the months of separation where we have been calling him almost every weekend before he ran away. And really I don't think anybody is looking for him. For a 10+ y/o boy to run away that is no big deal like it would be here in the States.

Some might ask, why Zambia? I don't know, I guess I had chosen Zambia a year ago because I was a desperate parent trying to bring a child home. I wished I had done more research, but I didn't. Two years into my journey, I have most definetly done my research on what country is safe to adopt from. We live and learn and have to fall a few times..

Here is B's description from my old blog:

B's parents died when he was about 3 years old. Both of his parents died back to back on HIV positive. I had him tested and he is negative. He then was raised by his 3 uncles but mainly 2 of them making him beg in the streets and if he couldn't bring any money home they would just beat him and beat him. He finally ran away from them and ended up at the orphanage where he has lived for the past 6 years. The great comfort in this adoption journey is that he truly is an orphan. Even his uncles don't have anymore rights to him. They wouldn't anyway because they have a criminal history on beating him. But the oldest brother in the tribe signed away all rights. With everything he has been through he has this wonderful personality. A great sense of humor, intelligent, speaks at least 3 languages. School wise he is pretty behind since all the children attend the same class room but I have no doubt that eventually he will catch on.

2 Years ago Today

July 15, 2006,I met Juan A. on my mission's trip in Guatemala. We were introduced by my friend Kristen and it was love at first sight. He was the coolest kid ever and a true boy. Why am I talking about him tonight. Because I tried to adopt him. He was my first one. Shortly after returning home from my mission trip we started the papers and hired an attorney in Guatemala. He put his photo in the papers for 3 months and a day before his court hearing, his biological mom showed up and claimed him. I was able to talk to him on the telephone before he left the orphanage and he told me he wanted to go with his mom and that little guy said to me "you have to stay strong mom, don't cry". This was very devastating for me and I was numb for many months to come. But because of Juan A. I started my adoption journey and he will be forever in my heart and soul. Enjoy the pictures below.

Guatemala Continued

Here I was in my ABSOLUTE element. I loved having all the kids close to me. Juan A. sneaking in quickly to check on mommy and off to play soccer again. BTW, I bought him that outfit. Each day he would come home from school, he would seek me out, give me a hug and kiss and run of and play. But he always had to check on me first.

This was the hardest moment ever. Saying good bye. I put him up on chair so I could hold him forever. I never thought I would say goodbye for good.

Juan Antonio dancing. That boy had some serious rhythm.

Thelma

Kristen and the Boys (Juan A. in the middle)

Carlitos on the left, Maria F. on the right. C was a humongous boy.

Karly and the boys. Juan A. with my red cap.

Maria Fernanda pouting again because I put her down.

Maria Fernanda and I. Sharing my water.


Last night, saying good bye to Juan Antonio

I was the little toddler mama on the mission trip because nobody wanted to be bothered with the little ones because they smelled like pee and poop all day. So did I (from holding them). This was our last night below. The little ones were just exhausted. Maria F. by my shoes.

Juan Antonio and I below sharing a private moment, just the two of us. Man, I loved this boy.

Maria Fernanda (in the white shirt below with food in her mouth) was my second favorite. She was so possessive over me that on the second day she made my neck bleed because she was so jealous because I played with other children. By the time I left I had her well trained and she shared me with all the children. Of course Juan A. didn't care. He just wanted to see his mom, check in, and then he left playing soccer again. True boy. My girl (just 2) would follow me everywhere. People would say, "here is your shadow".